{"id":30,"date":"2008-03-11T15:03:00","date_gmt":"2008-03-11T15:03:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/moavenz.com\/blog\/?p=30"},"modified":"2008-03-11T15:03:00","modified_gmt":"2008-03-11T15:03:00","slug":"this-is-for-sarah","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/moavenz.com\/blog\/?p=30","title":{"rendered":"This is for Sarah"},"content":{"rendered":"

Wow\u2026 when I actually sat down to do this<\/a>, I realized I was a lot quirkier than I originally thought. <\/p>\n

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1. <\/span>Back in 1986, I was the only tree-hugging, peace-loving, punk-rock-listening, atheist in the College Republicans \u2013 they weren\u2019t quite sure what to do with me. <\/span>This is what they recruited for:\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

and this is what they got:\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

They tolerated me though, because I was one heck of a debater (\u201cLogic\u201d was one of my favorite classes in high school), and I had a slew of witty, stereotypical, knee-jerk one-liners to take down any reasonable, good-intentioned position that ran counter to \u201cjust let everybody pull themselves up by their bootstraps because that\u2019s what I did<\/s> heard someone did once\u201d.<\/p>\n

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2. <\/span>I am obsessed with cleaning my ears \u2013 always have been. <\/span>Back in college, my freshman roommate was constantly brushing her teeth, about 5 times a day, and I was right alongside her at the sink, cleaning my ears. <\/span>I\u2019ve weened myself back to \u201cQ-tipping\u201d just twice a day, but sometimes, if I\u2019m bored (i.e. am pretending I forgot about the list of 37 things I NEED to get done today) and walk by the bathroom sink, I have to stop for a quick re-check.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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3. <\/span>I am a dishwasher-loading snob. <\/span>There is only ONE right way to load a dishwasher:\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

and I am one of, apparently, only a handful of people qualified to perform this delicate task. <\/span>You would think that with ALL the dishes that are continually piled up in my kitchen:\"\"<\/a> <\/p>\n

(hello family of five who\u2019s mom-figure is highly organized, but far, far from neat and tidy \u2013 you\u2019ve seen my \u201coffice<\/a>\u201d), that I would be less particular about at least getting something clean to eat off of for the night. <\/span>But when anyone offers to \u201chelp\u201d me with the dishes, I just about go into convulsions because my dishwasher is likely to end up looking like this:\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

and while I can have this:\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t have that.<\/p>\n

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4. <\/span>I absolutely LOVE having my hair played with \u2013 it relaxes me like nothing else. <\/span>In fourth grade, I had long hair, and my best friend, Beth, had very short hair (read: hair envy). <\/span>Our classes would get together to watch films, and no matter whose classroom we were in, I would sit on the floor and Beth would sit in the desk chair and brush\/style my hair the whole time. <\/span>Needless to say, I don\u2019t remember seeing a single film in 4th<\/sup> grade. <\/span>My addiction hasn\u2019t abated over time either, and I will tolerate all manner of strange things being done to my head, just to get a little free brushing out of the deal.\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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5. <\/span>No matter what my mood, I always cry at some point when watching Sesame Street. <\/span>Maybe it\u2019s the warm fuzzy memories of innocent times gone by (childhood) or the sweet, tender messages of kindness and tolerance \u2013 whatever it is, this show ALWAYS gets at least one insides-tightening, cathartic, \u201cman, the world is so beautiful\u201d tear out of me.<\/p>\n

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Now that all three girls are in school, I haven\u2019t seen it in a while, and boy do I miss it. <\/span>And of course, don\u2019t even get me started on Mr. Roger\u2019s Neighborhood<\/a> \u2013 just typing that made me blurry-eyed.<\/p>\n

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6. <\/span>I have a real knack for silly sweet nicknames (move over Hallie<\/a>). <\/span>Here are some samples for each of the girls:\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Pouran \u2013 Plouper, Ploop-dog, Scoop-de-dooper, Ploup-alopogas, Plouperificals<\/p>\n

Gabrielle \u2013 Schmee<\/p>\n

Faith \u2013 \u201cB\u201d, Spaz B, Beeble-weeble, Bee-ster<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s some insight into the whole creative process. <\/span>I\u2019ll walk you through the evolution of Elle\u2019s nicknames.<\/p>\n

Gabrielle<\/a> –> Elle –> Elle-belle –> Elley-belly –> Smelley –> Schmelly –> Schmee<\/p>\n

Once you had a good solid core nickname, you can make derivatives of it in all kinds of ways: Schmee-bee, Schmizzle-schmazzle, McSchmozle-ator, \u2026 be creative and enjoy!<\/p>\n

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7. <\/span>I hate needles. <\/span>Now I know nobody out there actually enjoys getting a shot, but for me it induces a fit of mild hysteria. <\/span>During my first pregnancy, I had to have blood drawn for tests.<\/span> <\/span>Knowing how terrified I get (and uncooperative), I brought my husband along for comfort. <\/span>We go in to the lab, I\u2019m breathing slowly and steadily to remain calm, and my darling husband tries to cut the tension a little with some humor. <\/span>As I\u2019m relaxed and \u201cready\u201d, he loudly exclaims, \u201cMan! <\/span>Look at the SIZE of that needle!\u201d, thinking the sarcasm would give everyone a good chuckle. <\/span>I immediately curl up into a little ball, sobbing and shaking profusely. <\/span>Needless to say, that was his first AND last prenatal visit with all three of our pregnancies. <\/span><\/span>The all time worst needles \u2013 those at the dentist \u2013 needles have NO business in a person\u2019s<\/span> mouth. <\/span><\/span>\"\"<\/a>I\u2019ve actually had cavities drilled without Novocain, because I\u2019ll take pain over needles any day (and I\u2019m a pain \u201cwuss\u201d). Which leads me to the point of this point: because I dread the dentist with a passion, I let a simple cavity devolve into a cavern (chunk of tooth fell off) that exposed the nerve and caused a few months of constant pain (avoiding the dentist the whole time). <\/span>It finally became unbearable, so I went in, reluctantly, a couple weeks ago…
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prognosis: root canal<\/span>
my response: no way<\/span>
result: gaping hole in my mouth<\/span>\"\"<\/a><\/div>\n
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